I was born in this world introduced to Him.
I have known Him ever since my mind could remember names. He was probably one of the names mentioned during my birth. I have felt Him and His Presence all my life. I could feel Him bearing me up during those times that I had to face someone (my perpetrator) that only Him and me knows, at that time I still couldn't understand the efffects of what was done to me and how it will affect my life.
I have felt Him when I was crying my heart out in the middle of the night asking for a magic wand to make my life easier, so that my family could have a beautiful house and heaps of money.
I have seen Him during my childhood days, when my brother drop a big stone over my middle finger of my left hand and I felt like dying because of pain and blood were gushing out, but I couldn’t run to my parents because they were going to scold me for playing on an hour that I should be sleeping.
I have always felt His assuring love and understanding when I was alone feeding my pride living in an orphanage. I have also sense his firm and loving chastisement every time He sees me disobey the people who looks after me, not perfect but loves me relentlessly.
I could discern His quiet concern and love for me on those times I felt that I was dealt with unreasonably.
I remember that one time in life when I cried to Him for help and I found out that My Father in Heaven and Him has a way of putting smart humor in their response to my plea to give me Five Hundred Pesos. I could still vividly remember when I laughed upon realizing they took time to give me the answer I was waiting for “a five hundred Pesos Play money” because I realized I didn’t gave the specifics, I just said five hundred pesos. A lesson learned and taught the best way.
I have felt Him beside me when my heart got broken into pieces and I thought my world came crushing down, it was these moments that I heard Him say “continue brotherly love”. He was there all the time giving me the strength and comfort I so need, because no one gets me more than He does. He was the one who taught me to turn those life’s breaking moments into something beautiful which contributed for a better relationship I had with my family especially my mom.
When I had to come into terms with family members I have harbored anger and frustrations and almost hatred, I felt His pleasing smile upon me and had come to understand of His love for me.
Every time I turn my back on Him, causing Him disappointments by the choices I make, I could see Him hurt and disheartened. I can feel Him not letting me go easily by persuading me to choose Him through His Love but never did He forced me into doing the things I don’t want to do.
Right now, when I thought I was so right and went my way of choosing things I really want and ended up lost, hurt and broken, it was still Him who went to my aid, who lifted my spirit up during my darkest hours. It is only Him who clears my mind when confusions and questions drowns my reasoning. And I could say He is the only one who listens untiringly to my melodramas.
I have known in my whole existence, how He offered himself for me. What He did, is not the one saving me from disgrace, it was HIM that saved me. The act itself would be useless if it was not done by Him. He had shown me How much He loves me, but I haven’t returned that love back. I might have tried, but I still have lots to do. There are duties for the living and for the dead that awaits me.
My life right now is in chaos and needs a lot of repairs and fixing but I can still feel Him near me, never leaving me alone.
TODAY,,,, I am celebrating His Birth. I am glad He was born on this imperfect world to make it possible for all mortals to be perfect. The path He thread was never easy and it will never be, but it’s up to me if I will go and follow Him despite stumbling down over and over again. As I stagger down trying to bear His yoke upon me, I would know in my heart that He will never leave me comfortless.
TO HIM who loved me despite me being Broken. THANK YOU is never enough, but I will forever treasure this knowledge as I go on living. Thank you for choosing to be born on this WORLD.
THANK YOU for choosing to Love Me, despite my unworthiness and my imperfections.
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